Monday (Tuesday) Hangover 09/10 - GW 13

Hi and hello football fans, it's your old pal Roko The Football Guy, what's going down? I hope all is well wherever you are! Today, I really mean that, I really DO hope all is well wherever you are because things here at Football Guy towers are not so good.........

I think I'm suffering from winter depression, I say winter depression just because it's been super grey and horrible here in London of late but it well could be regular depression. Yesterday I had shit loads of stuff to do, plus I had to go to work....... Want to guess how that turned out? Well I've still got all the stuff I needed to do left to do plus I didn't go to work....... Instead I stayed in the broom closet here at Football Guy towers all day watching the Discovery Channel and ESPN Classic. It's not that I didn't want to go to work (I actually quit enjoy what I do) or that I was avoiding the work I had to do (Like write this) I just couldn't face it yesterday, I know it's probably hard to understand and sounds like I'm just being lazy, but trust me it's not.

Anyway I'm sorry for the delay in the Monday Hangover, I hope you all understand and I hope you enjoy this belated re-cap of the weekends action.

Spurs 9 Wigan 1

I suppose there were quite a few different matches I could have started with, but none of them had 10 goals in them nine of which were scored by one team!

Due to my utter disgust for the fixture list on Sunday I decided to steer clear of the pub and catch up on some reading and the only time I checked the score of this match was at half-time and that was only because I was more interested in seeing what Blackburn had got up to due to me having David Dunn as my Fantasy Football Captain....... Needless to say I was rather uninspired with Spurs 1-0 lead but I was rather happy to see that Dunn had scored!

Somehow I managed to avoid finding out what the final score had been until I watch MoTD 2 that night and boy was I surprised! They called it highlights but really it was just replays off all the goals and I still can't believe I watched it without knowing what was going to happen, it has to rank up there in my top 10 personal surprises of 2009 right alongside how Spurs managed to score nine goals yet Tom Huddlestone played the whole match and got neither a goal or a assist (he's in my fantasy team)!

The trouble I have with the result is not the fact that Spurs won 9-1, it's that when Spurs win like this they seem to lose all sense of realism and start zealously proclaiming how great Spurs are like some religious fanatic. It also bring fourth comments like - "Fourth place is assured" and "Jermain Defoe is the best striker in the Premiership"

Now the fourth place comment was a "Friend" of mine's status on Facebook and was quite over the top, but most of my Spurs chums had some soft of reference to the top four in their status Sunday evening........ Relax guys, I know you are happy with your win and so you should be, but you do know that you only got three points for it right? It's still November and there's a lot of games still to be played?    

The comment about Jermain should not be mistaken for the one Harry Redknapp made about him being the best English finisher but my counter argument is still the same - 

This season, Jermain is the leagues top goalscorer with 11 goals, Eight of which have come in two games against Wigan and Hull, two of the worst defences in the league. Now if we look at say Darren Bent, he has nine league goals this season scoring those is eight different matches, so even though he has scored to less he has scored in more games, plus three of his goals this season were match winners and not only that but he has scored now against all four of last seasons "Top 4"........ I'd say based on this season Darren Bent and not Jermain Defoe is the better striker, but how about we look back over the last five seasons, in that time -

(Based on league games)

Jermain - Games = 139 - Goals = 52

Darren  -  Games = 137 - Goals = 57

Hmmm that's interesting, that "sack of shit" Darren Bent as Spurs fans call him has a better record..............

Anyway Tottenham fans, don't think I'm trying to rain on your parade, well done for your amazing win, just don't get to carried away like you usually do!

Sunderland 1 Arsenal 0

Is it a bad omen that the first league match RvP misses due to this ankle injury is also the first league match Arsenal failed to score in? Well I'd like to think not!

I'm not going to sit here and make excuses for Arsenal, I will say that I was disappointed with the result of course, but I was not with the performance. Yes I know Arsenal were far from their best but let's not forget that Sunderland did very little for most of the match and this is not a bad team at all, remember they almost beat United at Old Trafford and did beat Liverpool. In fact the only "Top 4" team from last season to beat them so far is Chelsea.

And I guess that's why ultimately I'm not super down on the result, Chelsea are going to win the league baring some sort of meltdown at Stamford Bridge, over the course of 38 games their team is stronger than Arsenal's and really the Gunners are playing for second place. I still think Arsenal will win something this year, but I'm afraid it won't be the league.

As for Sunderland, on a personal note I'm happy at the start they have made as i predicted that Steve Bruce would have this impact on them and it's nice to be right from time to time. I hope they keep it up and push for a Europa League spot for next season!

Manchester United 3 Everton 0

So United go back second in the league thanks to a truly super strike from Darren Fletcher, your not going to see to many balls hit better than this all season and for those of you who have yet to see it check this out - LINK.

United needed the win not only to bounce back after recent defeats to Chelsea and Liverpool but to close an Eight point gap that Chelsea had opened over them earlier in the day. Thankfully for United their opposition were Everton who had only one win in all competitions since September....... Not the best run of form in the world!

Everton tried like so many other teams when they go to Old Trafford to frustrate the Champions and it worked for about 35mins or so until Fletcher broke the deadlock and after that there was really no doubt as to the outcome of the match.

I guess the only down side for United would be the missed chances that fell to Michael Owen, he had two particularly good opportunities that he failed to tuck away, I did like the defence Hansen and Lawro gave him on MoTD about how it does not really matter that he missed the chances because he was making the right runs to get the chances.......... Bull Shit...... I know it's BS because I used the exact same excuse for Eduardo after his misses against Spurs a few weeks back.

Chelsea 4 Wolves 0

At times this really didn't seem like a football match at all but rather a game of "Long Shots" involving Michael Essien and the Wolves keeper Hennessey, I swear the Ghanaian had about nine shots from outside the box, all of which were either a goal, just wide or a fine save from Hennessey.

I think Essien in his two goal must have been trying to make up for the loss of Didier Drogba and Frank Lampard because his first was a head Drogba would have been proud of and his second can only be described as a "Lampard Special" I.E. Deflection......

In all fairness Chelsea really could have won by more, but it's not this performance that has me convinced they are the Champions, it's these three statements -

Chelsea have picked up 33 points from a possible 39! That's just machine form!

10 straight shut-out's at Stamford Bridge! How can you beat a team you can't score against?

Chelsea just won 4-0 coming off the back of the international break with Didier Drogba, Frank Lampard, Deco, Michael Ballack and Ricardo Carvalho all unavailable! And Arsenal fee upset at missing RvP???????

Face it, the rest of the league will be looking up at Chelsea until May, and then they will be looking up at Arsenal, because when the season is over Arsenal top the league Alphabetically!

Liverpool 2 Manchester City 2

The first 45 minutes of this match might well have been the worst 45 minutes I have ever seen in the Premiership! I know we live in an age of Hyperbaly but really the first hapf of this match was as bad as I've ever seen. To be fair to the two teams it was a first half disrupted by Liverpool's men of glass breaking, they lost Aggar and Babel to injury, both of whom seemed to take a age to be brought off the field.

I was so bored that I decided to not watch the second half and concentrate on a puddle outside my house that I found more interesting. Unfortunately for me, whilst that puddle had been more interesting than the first half, the second was a whole different beast and sprang in to life when Martin Skrtel turned in Steven Gerrard's free-kick to give them the lead after 50 minutes.

Then for some reason Liverpool decided they didn't really want to attack anymore and City thought "screw this. let's attack." Off came Barry and on came Tevez and eight minutes later City were level when Emmanuel Adebayor headed home from Craig Bellamy's corner.

Stephen Ireland converted from close as Liverpool appealed in vain for offside, gave City a lead they barely deserved, but they were then guilty of a loss of concentration as Yossi Benayoun turned in David Ngog's deflected cross to make sure the points were shared.

It was a result that didn't really help either team in their quest to regain some form and push for fourth place, but then again has provided the casual neutral more fuel for the fire to debate who will come fourth. I for one will steer clear of that for time being and will discus the fourth spot topic when a more appropriate time arrives.

Quirky fact - This was City's sixth straight draw which equalled their top-flight record set in 1913, see, when you spend big you do set records!!!

Elsewhere

Pompey's woes continued as they were shot down 1-0 away to Stoke, they only have five more games to ensure they are not bottom come Christmas Day because we all know what that means......... It means you are getting regulated unless you hire Bryan Robson as manager, but I hear he's busy this year managing some Asian team so your lucks out!

Blackburn beat Bolton in a match I'm pretty sure is a Lancashire derby yet I don't recall it being referred to as that........ It probably is called that but nobody outside Bolton or Blackburn cares!

Burnley proved why a) they are good at home b) don't bet on Villa under any circumstances. With their 1-1 draw against high flying Aston Villa, in other news former goal scorer Emile Heskey apparently scored the equalizer, although nobody is quite sure if he meant it.

Birmingham and Fulham played out the "For the last time Bobby Zamora is fucking poo bowl" at St Andrews. Birmingham won because of a finely taken goal from Lee Bowyer, Fulham lost because they have Bobby Zamora......

Hull and West Ham played out the "Neither of us actually want to win this match bowl" in what might have been the most up and down game of the season. Amazingly both actually went up the table this weekend proving once again that shot does float!

The Football Guy Prediction League

It's back, let's see if anyone's judgement was impaired by the international break!

The scoring system is simple -

Perfect Result = 30pts

Correct Result = 10pts

Wrong Result = -10pts

Here's a look at how everyone did this week -

                          PR       CR      WR      PTS

SportBoys           1          5         4         40

Jamrock              1          5         4         40 

Football Guy       1          5         4         40 

Lawro                 0          5         5           0

Footy Doc           0          5         5           0

Here's the complete table -

                        PR       CR      WR      PTS

Footy Doc        17       51       57       450     

Jamrock          16        52       57       430

Football Guy    10       62       53       390

Lawro              13       51       61       290     

SportBoy         12       51       62       250

So no changes in positions, but Jamrock is now on;y 10pts behind the Footy Doc with me a little further behind.

Players you should have made captain.

1. Aaron Lennon    - 18pts
2. Michael Essien   - 16pts
3. Jimmy Bullard     - 13pts
4. Florent Malouda - 13pts
5. Antonio Valencia -13pts

Players you wish you had made captain but never would.

1. Thomas Sorenson - 14pts
2. Steven Caldwell    - 9pts
3. Ryan Shawcross   - 9pts
4. Brett Emerton       - 9pts
5. Roger Johnson      - 9pts

The Cristiano Ronaldo award for fantasy excellence.

1. Jermain Defoe - 25pts

Amazing that the week I brought back that fantasy section to the Monday Hangover we would have a record breaking week from a player! Well done to Jermain Defoe for setting the highest one match points total I can ever remember seeing, 25 points is going to take some beating!

Winners and Loser

Winners

Jermain Defoe

For scoring five goals in one match!

Tottenham

For scoring nine goals in one match!

Losers

Wigan

For conceding nine goals in one match!

The End

Hope it was worth the wait, I promise there will be a Power ranking this week as well as the usual Friday weekend preview.

Take care

Football Guy