Wednesday, 04 February 09, 01:37 PM · Comments (108)

Well, you can imagine, can't you?
Some of us might not be winning any beauty contests anytime soon, but who would be happy if they looked like him. It's not the aesthetic as such, rather the connotation, you know...
That would put the tin lid on it for me.
May I then introduce... Lucy Smith. The tale of woe is here... CLICKTASTIC
HH coming in your ears.... HERE
"Just remember one thing my son - no-one is bigger than the club. The club will be here long after you go. Us supporters ain't mugs (well, not too many!). To end - if you don't want us and our club ain't big enough for you, then f*ck right off." Dannyboy
"We're very lucky in the band in that we have two visionaries, David and Nigel, they're like poets, like Shelley and Byron. They're two distinct types of visionaries, it's like fire and ice, basically. I feel my role in the band is to be somewhere in the middle of that, kind of like lukewarm water." Derek Smalls
"Can you hear me! Tommy Trinder, Johnny Haynes, Dodi Fayed, Wolfy Smith.......your boys took a hell of a beating!" Sydney Wale
"Each season, there is a team that goes into freefall and gets sucked into the relegation scrap. losing becomes a habit, like winning and if we ain't careful, that team could be us." Dannyboy
"Clearly my words have gone to the highest level. Expect him gone in May" Jolsgonemental
"As a Spurs supporter of no half-measure, I will continue to support Jol, Hughton, the squad and the entire club, to the best of my ability and at all times" Yid 15
"I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass." Jasper Carrott
"White Hart Lane was always a place where I felt I belonged." David Ginola
"I would run through brick walls for Spurs." Graham Roberts
"Even now, when I go over to my mother'S house and dig out the old tracksuit tops I wore, it makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck. I like to think i am part of a special family. I am no longer connected with the club on a daily basis, but i'm delighted with every win and sad about every defeat." Steve Perryman
"Any player coming to Spurs, whether he's a big signing or just a ground staff boy, must be dedicated to the game and to the club. He must never be satisfied with his last performance, and he must hate losing." Bill Nicholson
"Bill did so much for his beloved Spurs that we must never let his legacy fade. He must be our inspiration as we strive to ensure that a new era dawns here at White Hart Lane." Daniel Levy
" 'Oh dear, it's f*cked', is what I've always taken it to mean. I do have O-level Latin. Now they've stuck up a literal translation, in large letters: 'To dare is to do.' The words just stand there, on their own, not making much sense." Hunter Davies
"When Gazza came to the Spurs training ground for the first time got the ball, went round 8 players as if they were not there and then smashed the ball into the net. Just to see him play like that made the hair stand up on the back of your neck. Everybody stood there and applauded him." Terry Venables
"We will not be pushed around by a bunch of north London yobbos." Rupert Lowe, Southampton chairman, shortly before his manager Glenn Hoddle left for Spurs.
""I earned the right to be in the team and fought every game to be in it." Graham Roberts
"The worst thing Spurs ever did was get rid of Keith Burkinshaw. They never replaced him." Graham Roberts
"When you've finished playing football, young man, which is going to be very soon, I feel, you'll make a very good security guard." David Pleat to a 17yr old Neil Ruddock
"If someone wants to give you a bum steer on who we're after, then so be it. If you want to know, ask me, because I have a list of players we want and Robbie Keane isn't on it." Glenn Hoddle, then Spurs manager, shortly before paying 17 mill for ... Robbie Keane.
"The biggest regret of my whole football career was leaving White Hart Lane in 1970.....my interest in football weakened after that. I was heartbroken" Jimmy Greaves.
"I know more about smalz herring than I do about football." Sir Alan Sugar
"The trouble with Christian Gross is that no-one had heard of him. The communication wasn't brilliant and as captain I decided to explain to him how things worked and what the players liked and were used to. I do not believe he listened to a word I said." Gary Mabbutt
"Always had a bit of time, make a little bit of space, look up, bang. And you know he could put it on a postage stamp from 40 yards. Mmmmmmmmm...." Ron Manager aka Paul Whitehouse, Spurs fan on Glenn Hoddle
"I'm a miserable sod." Sir Alan Sugar
"The great fallacy is that the game is first and last about winning. It's nothing of the kind. The game is about glory. It's about doing things in style, with a flourish, about going out and beating the other lot, not waiting for them to die of boredom." Danny Blanchflower
"Man in the raincoat's blue & white army." Spurs fans unable to use George Graham's name, 1999.
"We like a tackle at Tottenham. we're not pansies, you know. " David Pleat
"I was sitting just a few feet away from David Pleat at the World Cup. He's a nice fellow, but the man is mad: certifiably, eye-spiningly mad." Danny Kelly
"The only thing wrong with White Hart Lane is that the seats face the pitch" Les Dawson
"Just remember one thing my son - no-one is bigger than the club. The club will be here long after you go. Us supporters ain't mugs (well, not too many!). To end - if you don't want us and our club ain't big enough for you, then f*ck right off." Dannyboy
"We're very lucky in the band in that we have two visionaries, David and Nigel, they're like poets, like Shelley and Byron. They're two distinct types of visionaries, it's like fire and ice, basically. I feel my role in the band is to be somewhere in the middle of that, kind of like lukewarm water." Derek Smalls
"Can you hear me! Tommy Trinder, Johnny Haynes, Dodi Fayed, Wolfy Smith.......your boys took a hell of a beating!" Sydney Wale
"Each season, there is a team that goes into freefall and gets sucked into the relegation scrap. losing becomes a habit, like winning and if we ain't careful, that team could be us." Dannyboy
"Clearly my words have gone to the highest level. Expect him gone in May" Jolsgonemental
"As a Spurs supporter of no half-measure, I will continue to support Jol, Hughton, the squad and the entire club, to the best of my ability and at all times" Yid 15
"I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass." Jasper Carrott
"White Hart Lane was always a place where I felt I belonged." David Ginola
"I would run through brick walls for Spurs." Graham Roberts
"Even now, when I go over to my mother'S house and dig out the old tracksuit tops I wore, it makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck. I like to think i am part of a special family. I am no longer connected with the club on a daily basis, but i'm delighted with every win and sad about every defeat." Steve Perryman
"Any player coming to Spurs, whether he's a big signing or just a ground staff boy, must be dedicated to the game and to the club. He must never be satisfied with his last performance, and he must hate losing." Bill Nicholson
"Bill did so much for his beloved Spurs that we must never let his legacy fade. He must be our inspiration as we strive to ensure that a new era dawns here at White Hart Lane." Daniel Levy
" 'Oh dear, it's f*cked', is what I've always taken it to mean. I do have O-level Latin. Now they've stuck up a literal translation, in large letters: 'To dare is to do.' The words just stand there, on their own, not making much sense." Hunter Davies
"When Gazza came to the Spurs training ground for the first time got the ball, went round 8 players as if they were not there and then smashed the ball into the net. Just to see him play like that made the hair stand up on the back of your neck. Everybody stood there and applauded him." Terry Venables
"We will not be pushed around by a bunch of north London yobbos." Rupert Lowe, Southampton chairman, shortly before his manager Glenn Hoddle left for Spurs.
""I earned the right to be in the team and fought every game to be in it." Graham Roberts
"The worst thing Spurs ever did was get rid of Keith Burkinshaw. They never replaced him." Graham Roberts
"When you've finished playing football, young man, which is going to be very soon, I feel, you'll make a very good security guard." David Pleat to a 17yr old Neil Ruddock
"If someone wants to give you a bum steer on who we're after, then so be it. If you want to know, ask me, because I have a list of players we want and Robbie Keane isn't on it." Glenn Hoddle, then Spurs manager, shortly before paying 7 mill for ... Robbie Keane.
"The biggest regret of my whole football career was leaving White Hart Lane in 1970.....my interest in football weakened after that. I was heartbroken" Jimmy Greaves.
"I know more about smalz herring than I do about football." Sir Alan Sugar
"The trouble with Christian Gross is that no-one had heard of him. The communication wasn't brilliant and as captain I decided to explain to him how things worked and what the players liked and were used to. I do not believe he listened to a word I said." Gary Mabbutt
"Always had a bit of time, make a little bit of space, look up, bang. And you know he could put it on a postage stamp from 40 yards. Mmmmmmmmm...." Ron Manager aka Paul Whitehouse, Spurs fan on Glenn Hoddle
"I'm a miserable sod." Sir Alan Sugar
"The great fallacy is that the game is first and last about winning. It's nothing of the kind. The game is about glory. It's about doing things in style, with a flourish, about going out and beating the other lot, not waiting for them to die of boredom." Danny Blanchflower
"Man in the raincoat's blue & white army." Spurs fans unable to use George Graham's name, 1999.
"We like a tackle at Tottenham. we're not pansies, you know. " David Pleat
"I was sitting just a few feet away from David Pleat at the World Cup. He's a nice fellow, but the man is mad: certifiably, eye-spiningly mad." Danny Kelly
"The only thing wrong with White Hart Lane is that the seats face the pitch" Les Dawson
108 Comments · Add yours
first. cor shes a beauty the face only a mother could love bless her/him?
I don't know what to think about this...
The comments to the story in the link are funny.
The first 10 or 20 are about her/his rights/feelings etc, then someone mentions the similarity to John Terry and nearly every comment afterwards is ripping the piss out of JT
Thats JT he goes into drag on Staurday afternoons
are you sure it's not John Terry trying to be Lucy Smith? I wonder what a womans point of view on this is? cue spursandy
I need at least 400 pints before i look at that picture again!
First transexual to miss a penalty in a Champions League Final.
considering what the specialists have had as a blank canvas, old jt hasnt got a bad rack on him
Who can honestly say at some point in their drinking life...na me neither.
It just looks like bad Photoshopping!
I am an artist and also turn my highly skilled fingers to computer art. I will take requests if anyone would like to name a player who should go mid op?
I'll submit the results....
Bless!!!!
Welcome back, Robbie
Reply to calebray:
Jesus, not a bad rack??!!! although I suppose when you're starving and someone throws you a cracker, tastes pretty Goddam good.
June Terry. Terry and June.
Reply to Poshspur:
i have gone wrong on so many levels
Reply to salsyid:
And your second point is? Please desist with all this posting that you are the first to make a comment - it is a disease that spoils other blogs where they don't even bother to talk about football anymore.
With regards to the Photo - I might know a thing or two about graphics packages and have been looking for obvious signs that this is the Dogs face cleverly modified and pasted onto the original. I'm almost convinced its a fake, but god help them if he/she really looks like that.
funniest thing I've seen in ages!!! still laughing my tits off and sending this on to all chelscum "fans"!! Cheers Harry!
Reply to Poshspur:
In a weird way I'm almost hoping that this is real. Anyone else fancy going into a chorus of "Are you Lucy Smith in disguise?"
Reply to calebray:
There's still hope for you...the first step is seeing the mistake. Attempting to sexually judge a push me/pull you was your first.
Its got one of those faces you want to punch !
That picture is actually taken from JT's autobiography due for release soon entitled...
...Who I Really Am.
Reply to Trembly:
Ideal for Cheatski match at WHL
Reply to Trembly:
Oh we have to sing something whenever he gets the ball, next time we play the scum. " Lucy, Lucy Smith, Lucy, Lucy Smith" etc
This is a gift that keeps on giving....and receiving.
Its gone nuclear
LINK
this is possible the funniest thing i have ever seen!
I can't stop laughing to myself!
My wife thinks I'm weird! (but thats another matter)
nice picture of you harry, about time u posted a portrait of yourself m8 welldone for being the uglyiest fucker ive ever seen
Reply to jfdit:
The Hunt For Redfacedposeur...
Reply to HarryHotspur:
Your site broke this story nearly 5 hrs before the so called finest journos.
very funny but I expect no less
Reply to chasndave:
the reason the wife thinks your weird is because she never seen u laugh at her before it was only when u seen her picture on the net it was so funny.
All very funny of course. But Harry,why are you scouring the internet for JT lookalike transsexuals ? Has the transfer window tipped you over the edge?
Are you Lucy in disguise?
We can see it in your eyes.
C'mon Terry, no more lies,
Are you Lucy in disguise?
Hey, Harry at weekends you're not know as Harriet Hotspur are you? - says the man with the blonde curly perm.
Chelsea fans fantasy fuck
Reply to steve1987:
*blushtastic*
Reply to jfdit:
Wait till Appiah signs!
Wow RedSack, such bitterness....
If i'd of know it would hurt so much, I would never have married your mum!
Sorry about that! I'll drop her of at your caravan this evening! You can look after her now!
Reply to jfdit:
shame. the bigger pic in the current bun proves there is dodgy photoshopping involved
Reply to Trembly:
Yes, no human being is actually that repulsive (pic on right)
Always thought JT had something about him but a shim - priceless
This is not the first. Remember Lily (aka Robbie) Savage and his dodgy tackle.
Reply to Trembly:
I will bow to your expertise. How so?
Reply to steve1987:
You Got Me
apologies to all those of a mental age above 10 years old!
I hope this is real, as i've now changed it to my profile picture on facebook!
HH, looking at the blown up image there seems to be (perhaps from my warped viewpoint only of course):
1. a dodgy pinkish red line around the left (as we view it) side of his face when the background shows a light blue.
2. The centre parting shows ghosting that appears when using the copy pen or whatever its called.
I'm sure Posh will be better able to point out the flaws. He can do that, but still can't work out how to create an ole ole account
Reply to Trembly:
Reply to Trembly:
Yeah the hair don't look right, mind you it could just be a moody syrup!
If it is photoshopped, someone has gone to the trouble of moving JTs moles about on his face
Reply to DANNYBOY:
Immediate thought - it's a fake:
1. Neck has no definition at that angle - you'd expect to see shadow from the turn of the head and neck
2. Can't see hands or feet properly (which don't change particularly when M2F transgendered)
3. Whilst some M2F go a bit overboard from time to time on attempting to look feminine - the hair just doesn't work - too flat, too dyed and too dull! I know a number of M2F and whilst I may be generalising, they usually have much better hair!
Good luck to her.
But not to John Terry.
that's the best picture of an england captain i've ever seen...
she/he is bound to look a bit odd as he/she is a little mixed up i guess....
The King is Dead long live the Queen
Reply to munso:
I don't think its been photoshopped, when you blow it up looks like normal - pixel loss due to poor quality image to start with.
Bad make up job, cheap wig and needs a shave. My type of girl!
Toffees bt Bindippers!
Gosling... some young'un.
And ITV lost the goal cos if a technical hitch. Hm.
*cos of...
Reply to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz:
can you believe that SS...what a bunch of amateurs they are....they should have to give it bsck to the beeb for free for thst sort of f*ck up....
Reply to KOJAC:
And SSN just own the whole world again until 2099 pretty much.
Whoever gets bit torrent streaming stuff off to a buffer-free art will make a mint!
They had to make a 'pun' of Gosling's name didnt they... 'golden egg of a goal' - bit lame.
Reply to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz:
i think itv has just broken down...maybe it's the snow...
Reply to KOJAC:
Alan Sugar just showed up on my tele to tell me how good apprentices are. Cheap labour y'mean. I've switched it off now.
Bath, book, bed methinks...
Reply to KOJAC:
And somewhere, Michael Grade hurls a chair against the wall.
Reply to Longwell:
what were they doing......does a 10yr old work in the vt mixing room or something.....
The picture to me looks obviously photoshopped, the features are too large for the face, there is also blending evident to me. For some similar picture fun try www.yearbookyourself.com I had a giggle with some of the pictures it spits out.
this is one one of the funniest things i have seen in years... i salute you harry!
Absolutely hilarious.British humour at its finest, i miss that.
Sun headline could have read 'John Terry gives head'
HH coming in your ears
LINK
It reminds me of a time when i was younger, pissed as a rat, and dancing slowly with (what i though was) a tall dark haired girl.....then the lights came on and my mates said i actually screamed......i was dancing with a transsexual. Okay, okay.... i was in a gay nightclub in Edmonton (Canada) called Flashback. It was populated with hot chicks not just gays (because this club had the best dance music in town) so i guess it was my fault. At least we didn't get beaten up by his/her friends....although it almost kicked off as i recall. Still embarrassed as i recall this event.
So, it's me and John Terry then. Dance John?
Reply to HarryHotspur:
Listened to you while I was working late at the office Harry. Very entertaining mate.....enjoyed the show.
You don't sound anything like HR.....or the Spanish guy that followed you on the show. You sound like you're from Buckinghamshire.....not that there's anything wrong with that.
Reply to COYScanada:
Thanks. I think
Reply to HarryHotspur:
Theres got to be a job for you on TalkSport, maybe get that twat Andy Jacobs out, Hawksbee and Hotspur has got a certain ring to it!
Reply to Johnny C:
This chant will make JT famous.
[IMG]LINK[/IMG]
cant get the hang of this image hosting thing!
anyway my Wenger one is 3 posts up.
If you want anyone else done, tell me and i'll do it.
Rico
Reply to unclerico1979:
That's very very good.
Reminds me of an incident some years ago when Vinnie Samways crashed into an advertising hoarding just in front of me at the Paxton Road end.
Whilst he lay prostrate on the cinder track, holding his head,a wag boomed out:
"Look on the bright side Samways, that's probably done your face a favour"
Well he wasn't pretty was he?
Reply to unclerico1979:
lol. is it me or does he look even creepier?
Reply to northwestyid:
I thought he looked a bit 'rain man'
my one looks less fake than the original.
Poor fella has ACTUAL photoshopped looking features in real life!
nah, can't be naffed to figure it out (its my first time on here) you are welcome to if you like?
show me where you post it though
Reply to munso:
I just thought it had the same hairdresser as Tevez?!
Reply to unclerico1979:
haha...
....make sure you topic/filter/tag it under wenger/arsenal/tottenham....etc...that pic so the many gooner fans on oleole get to see sexchange wenger.....
Harry, This picture has left me confused. Alot of people say that I am the spit of Alan Shearer.
Should I start wearing womens clothing? Or just sort my hair out?
Body from Crimewatch, face from...Crimewatch.
Surely Photoshops finest?
Harold - most enjoyable interview. Sounding like someone ladies might take home to respective mums, for a scone and a crafty little thumbs up to their daughters.
Fake?! Fake you Say?! next you will be tellin me that gif on the previous blog of Keano is a fake!
Fake or no Fake, its a laugh at JT's expense and any manner of a giggle at him is a good one!
Roll on Sunday - I just hope we dont live to regret not upping the ante on the Arshavin deal in the summer.
Out of curiosity;
a) how/why on earth were we negotiating at the ÂŁ23 million mark when the Goons have managed to nick him for ÂŁ12?
b) how the fuck was he allowed to sign after the deadline?
Gooner Slag. Roll on Sunday...
mmmmm my name is seamus hagen and i think that bird is lovely
off topic, if there is one.
what sort of pitch covers do we have if any?
pete docherty will be blowing his nose again tonight so im concerned about the potential to call sundays game off. do we have something equivalent to the brumbrella? will the huds vest be stretched over the corner flags? should we all bring a broom and a shovel?
Reply to summerspur:
i'm not sure about covers.....but it's normally the old healthy & safety issues...in and around the ground that usually call off a game....ahhh bless!!....
not the pitch...unles it's frozen solid or under 10ft of snow of course....
LINK
sadface.
Reply to telex:
Shit.
I really think we could have used that dude. He must still be broken. Life goes on I suppose.
Reply to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz:
I thought the shadows were about right and what you can see of the hand/fist looks pretty blokey to me, well it ain't petite anyway. The slight 'superimposed' look can be as a result of low fi digital technology not handling the contrast variation as well as old style emulsion photography and if you look at jt's face, his right eye is slightly higher than his left LINK whereas the person in this picture has the reverse.
So anyway, I'm off to write some train numbers down............. where's my kagool?
is it me or does the head look too big for the body
Reply to HarryHotspur:
You've got a future in Radio Harry.....and possibly TV also.......as long as you don't look like Lucy.
But seriously, you came across as well informed and witty.....which is what i expected. Time to re-negotiate your contract mate....you could try to sign up with Arshavin's agent. I hear he's good.
Reply to Nunchucks:
Father: What are you intentions toward my daughter?
Tommy Cooper: I was planning to take her to the pictures.
Father: No, no. I meant beyond that.
Tommy Cooper: Oh, I see ...I was hoping to get hold of her in a shop doorway.
Reply to COYScanada:
Thank you very much.
Nice work on the airwaves, er, e-waves, er, whatever the fuck. Good job.
HH,you definitley need to change your is john terry a dog question now.....to is john terry both man and woman...etc..or whatever.....with that pic next to it.....that picture is too good to ignore...
Nice one Harry, I have to stop drinking tea while browsing your site, new laptop got a shower earlier listening to podcast - you got me good
I was reading about Jimmy Greaves and why he's not been inducted into the hall of fame earlier on another site - wondered what your thoughts on matter were?
Reply to KOJAC:
although....no need to change the question just stick that pic next to it.....just confirms it even more....
Reply to jfdit:
Greaves's's's book is a must read. Very few footy books are.
LINK
LINK
Reply to HarryHotspur:
I got more links than Marley & Marley.
Reply to _el__:
I'm worse, I lost 40 mins of my life trying to find the original snap (if there was one) of Terry on the net this morning.
The killer as was rightly mentioned earlier is that 'the mole' was moved also. Very unlikely.
I tell my mum I work in a brothel in order to divert from the shame.
Reply to HarryHotspur:
Yes I found it funny, sad & tragic, player who I would have liked to see play in the flesh.
Apparently club not willing to donate proceeds from induction dinner do to charity so Jimmy told them to do one. Shame club appears to have such poor relations with ex players. Club's PR needs to address things like that - more pragmatic approach req.
in regards to the keano link. if you find the original clip; you can see jenas in the background looking mightily pissed off that he didnt hear about the inter rumours earlier and cut us a break.
Sorry Chaps and Chapesses, only just caught up with the news after returning from holiday so unrelated post coming up.
Keano - Great player, bygones be bygones and all that, still have lingering worries about defoe keano partnership and the composition of our team still leaves many questions that are not mine to answer.
Cudicini - Great acquisition, chuffed and will provide genuine competition
Chimbonda - never did much wrong in my eyes, claims of disruptive attitude but I think now he's done a stint oop norf he'' be doubly happy to be back and will work well. With all our current crop of defenders fit though, not sure he'd start for me.
Palacios - Great, I'm happy, lets get right behind him.
Defoe - Great again but old news I guess.
Quite happy with the window, we still have an unbalanced squad but I think less so than prior to the window opening. As said above, will be interesting to see how we line up, especially when all are fit, I still see the old keano defoe conundrum and i'd hate to see JD left on the bench again after re-signing for us.
Looking forward to the rest of the season !!
Reply to COYScanada:
Harrys got a face for Blogging/Radio and hands like Richard Keys so he'll struggle to get a gig on TV
Should you ever make a TV appearance Harold, would you prefer to have your face pixelated or adopt the SAS letterbox look to maintain anonymity?
[IMG]LINK[/IMG]
[IMG]LINK[/IMG]
Lucy? is that you?... have you done something with your hair?
Reply to Grazza:
Was it an old Dave Allen sketch?
A nervous man talking is in fear for his life, is shot in silhouette to protect his identity. When the interview is over, he says thank you, steps out of the chair and the area outside the chair is washed in bright light.
Reply to jfdit:
Agreed, the routine appears to be a bloody cold one. They either get, 'The Club wishes him well'. Or an everlasting silence indicating they fell through a trapdoor like a Bond Villain stooge.
Reply to unclerico1979:
Axel Foley