What Shall I Do Today? - Day 86

Hello chappies...

Chappy Chap Chappy Chaps. I´m ArsenalAdam (It still feels weird having a blogger alias), and somedays I like to write blogs about my favorite thing in the world, Arsenal FC.

Well ok my 2nd favorite thing in the world... I really fucking like Jambons. Honestly, gimme a jambon and I´ll be your best friend for at least a week.

Yesterday, I didn´t write a blog like I normally do on lovely Valencian Thursday. For this I apologize.

The reason UptheArse was blogless for Day 85 of this wonderful journey exploring UptheArse (ummm...) was that nothing happened yesterday.

I don´t literally mean NOTHING happened yesterday. Lots of things happened obviously - the sun came up, some birds sang, some dogs pooed, teachers teached things, writers writed things, and eaters eated things.

But in terms of Arsenal FC the World Wide Web was a barren wilderness of vast nothingness. Yes there were some stories which were used to fill column inches. Cesc was probably linked to Barcelona. You probably heard Eduardo, Song, and Sanchez Watt signed some new contracts. And lots of people talked about the Chelsea game yesterday.

I didn´t feel like repeated any of this news.

I also have a huge pile of work to do, which I will return to soon, but I wanted to say hello today, and tell you all about the bump on Gallas´ head which might prevent him from playing against Chelsea on Sunday, ergo Silvestre is going to get raped by Didier Drogba again... I feel for the fishfaced cuntbox, he´s just never going to be accepted by Arsenal fans because he´s shit, he used to play for United, he´s shit, and his face looks like a fish, or at least like the face of a person who had a face that looked like a fish... And he´s SHIT! But seriously there are few people who I would dislike to rape me more than Didier Drogba.

Gigs (Not Ryan... Like Music ya football looving bastards!) 

In other news, I had my first ever solo gig last night. I used to be a singer in a rock band. We weren´t very good. But it was fun. LINK However since I left Ireland for the sun and sea here in Valencia I have started plucking away on a piece of shit which vaguely resembles a guitar.

It was fun. The turnout was respectable and I managed to hold my voice for about an hour and a bit, which was wonderful. I just had sinusitis so I was expecting to sound like an old cat or a smelly granny. Or even an old smelly granny cat. But I didn´t - I don´t think. I couldn´t really hear much there was a lot of people yelling things in Foreign Languages...

I think "Calla tu puta boca" means play louder... but I´m not sure.

Chelski

It should be noted at this point that the reason William might not play, is primarily his ankle, and not the Andrei Arshavin approved bump that gave him a Balboa-esque closed eye during the game against Liege on Tuesday.

Chelsea had some players injured during the international break, and I was looking forward to seeing Lamps, Drogba, Ballack, and Deco in the stands against us. However, apparently all of them, even Lampard are fit as fiddles and are ready to fiddle with our title hopes. Fecking fiddlers.

Lamps got the Placenta treatment and he´s made a quick recovery. Imagine if you just bathed in that stuff. You would turn into this guy. Except you would have a P and not an S on your chest, and you couldn´t jump into a phone both and take off your silly spandex to turn back into Clark Cunt... You would actually have to give birth everytime you wanted to be a normal person again, and then you would just be a placenta-bath away from Superpowerfulness.

Today´s question - Would you like to have a superpower and what would it be. I think I would quite like to have a Superpower. I think I would like to be able to dance like Eboue. (That guy can really shake it... Imagine the power you would have over horny ladies in a Discoteque. You would have the power to make them vomit - on account of said power your name would have to be the Atomic Vomit or just Eboue the Titan Queen. Either or.)

What the fuck?

Ok so Sunday I´ll try to get my lazy bones out of bed and write a little preview bloog with squad predictions, lovely lineups, and AUDACIOUS INCONSEQUENTIAL attempt to predict the final score.

Til then,

ArsenalAdam