Michael Bolton: A Pre-Match Shakedown
Friday, 02 October 09, 11:48 AM · Comments(41)
Whenever waxing-lyrical about Bolton and their numerous virtues, there’s always the concern that one might drift off mid-sentence; the eyes grow weary, the face drains of colour. All you can do to re-ignite their interest is howl: ‘GARLIC BREAD?’ at the top of your voice, then hope to god they know who Peter Kay is. Otherwise they’ll think you’re mental. And you don’t want that.
The Mighty Wanderers have been knocking around the top flight for a good while now; doing a terrific job of going almost entirely unnoticed. Like a northern version of Ocean’s Eleven; waltzing among the bit-shakers, stealing points, before scuttling back into the underworld with out detection. ‘Who the hell was that?’ is the cry, before you realise they’ve nicked all your cutlery. ‘Must’ve been Megson’s Eleven, again.’
The Bastards.
Since the passing of their short-lived ‘glamour’ era, when the likes of Okocha and Djorkaeff were hood-winked into the Reebok by Big Sam, things have been a little more low-key. With the ginger ball-sack at the helm, we’ve seen a conveyor belt of generic MODEL001G’s filling the team sheet, without one I would wish to call my own. Christ, even Kevin Nolan felt Newcastle was a shrewd career move. He might even be right.
It might sound a little crass of an assessment, but reading through some of the pre-season blurbs in various publications, it’s clear the average Trotter feels equally as demoralised by Megson and his ‘anti-inspirational’ regime. None of them seem to know quite what he’s up to. What the big picture is.
As unmemorable a team as they are, one quality they’re sure to bring to the table is resilience. By the shovel load. They’re extremely difficult to beat. While not setting the dark sky alight with shiny, fireworks football, they have a tendency to bludgeon points from the most unlikely of sources. It’s usually us, in fact.
Well that’s got to change for a start. With Crouch playing understudy to Jer-Main-Man Defoe, there’s the possibility of us ‘mixing it’ with their defensive monoliths. Cahill’s a decent centre-back, so neutralising his role could see us being a major threat. Fingers crossed, Lennon should burn holes through their lumbering full-backs and provide many a ball for Ol' Robo-Pete.
Forecast: 3-2. (Crouch, Lennon, Krank 2: High Voltage)
Get in.
COYS!
Like this blog? Help spread the word: 
-
WhoFramedRuelFox
GB
A hearty expedition into the mind of a troubled, easily swayed Tottenham fan.
41 Comments · Add yours
According to that wingnut Hansen, we last beat Notlob away in the league in pre-prem 1992! A 2-3 win at Burnden Park. Your namesake/alter-ego was in on the goals
Soooooooooooooo, high time that little run was put to bed. 'Arry's comments about 3MP seem to indicate he'll get a chance w/ PSB, and I have no reason think that will ineffective (if we don't hoof!) Might as well give JD a rest.
2nd! Just to be different
I hope you are wrong - I have good money at the bookies for Spurs to win 4-2 - and that is 50-1 my firend
Prediction-
Another goal fest.....
At the very least a bag full for us and none or less for them.
I know it's wrong, and he's so un-Spurs it's silly, but I think Kevin Davies could've done a job for us. We need to watch his movement in the box at set pieces. This is a real test for our depth - who've we got at the back, Thudd and Bassong? This area worries me more than who we've got up front. Even Pav is hungry for a game and I reckon he'll score a hatful on international duty.
I'll stay quietly confident as I have been since the season started. The less spectacular the better - 3 points and people still questioning our gameplan please.
PS. Long may Arry's reign continue.
2-1 Spurs! Reebok is a tough place to win but our attack is quite potent this season so far. Crouch to score both!
COYS!!!!
Just looked at Boltons height and this is there back line .RICKETTS 6FT1 KNIGHT 6FT5 CAHILL 6FT2 SAMUELLS 5FT11. TOTTYS cudicini 6-0ft think corluka 6ft4 bassong 6ft1 hudds 6ft3 ekotto 5ft8 add DAVIES 6FT1 14 STONE OF PUMPED STAZA LIKE MUSCLES AND WE HAVE PROBLEMS All boltons goals have come from set pieces only two of ours have come from set pieces both from cudicini bad keeping .This would be my team to beat Bolton since 1996. corluka 6ft4 hudds 6ft3 dawson 6ft2 bassong 6ft1 this would match Bolton at corners and with crouch give us more height but with ekotto and bassong there is a weak spot in height with GOMES 6ft4 this would tip the balance in our favour but wit cudicini we will suffer at free kicks and corners and distance shots all three cudicinis bad points .get it right HARRY nad it will be three on the road and a nice break.COYS 4-2
Reply to SeattleSpursGuy:
The Mighty Fox among the goals in 1992?
Yoo wanna git yur facts strate, mate.
The ginger mammal didn't sign until 1995.
Reply to Trembly:
Bloody well said.
Reply to WhoFramedRuelFox:
Shows what listening to that Scotchy Scouse will get you.
It's on a dodgy channel in my local, think I shall partake, hoping for a win by any margin, but a 2nd clean sheet of the season would be nice too!
I just re-read the Hansen comment and I think he was trying to say we never won at the Reebok in the league, so RF could have a-scoring against the Trotters at Burnden, mid-nineties style.
Cross my palm with the silvers and I shall tell of your fortune, young Tottinghams.
Ah! The mists are parting, and I see... big tings.
Yes, big tings a gwan.
I like the sound of Sean's bet. 2-4 has a thorough believable ring to it. More belieavble thing my gypsy fortune teller/street hoodie act, at least.
We will score, and, alas, we will concede, but this is not the Notlob of the Allardyce, and this is not the Tottinghams of olde.
Big tings a gwan, and 2-4 it is, blud.
Lucky heather, sir?
Oops, scuze the poorly written post - I'm tired and the ol' brain is not running at full capacity.
Does anyone on here listen to the Spurs Show Podcast with Phil Cornwell & Mike Leigh, by the way?
Talk about having SEVERAL attempts at humour. Blumin Eck!
We do love playing you southern softies though.
West Ham last victory in Bolton. 1995.
According to the fella at the top, your last one was in 1992 but i thought you had one around 1996-ish?
Verdict: Another win for the Wanderers. Kevin Davies versus Keith* Gomes, should be a doddle.
In all seriousness, i do expect a good game with plenty of goals. I can see the score either being 2-2 or 3-2 to either team.
Best of luck after today anyway. Spurs fans do generally seem the more bareable of the Southern persuasion.
*(my pet name for him)
Reply to jimbo:
Howdy Jimbo. Yeah I misunderstood what that plank Hansen was trying to say, but some checking reveals that he is idiot--as am I for citing Hansen.
So, well spotted. Last League win for Spurs on your patch was 13 years ago.
Your boys should be a good test for us, but I think we'll take it in a 1-2 win.
Reply to WhoFramedRuelFox:
Sorry. I'll try better next time, honest.
Worrying about beating the mighty Bolton is sooooooo last season.
They are fighters but we will win
Wouldn't want Davies even on a free. Highest number of fouls so far in the league.
We are winning by playing football,dare I say it, the Tottenham way.
Davies is a nasty player particularly at corners but at least refs seem to be wising up to him by the number of fouls he's conceded.
But you only need to get away with it once at a set piece to make life difficult.
We ain't that desperate surely, in fact we're not desperate at all at the moment.. He's crude and plays football 'ugly'. Not my choice of player by a long way.
I accept he's effective.
Reply to JimmyG2:
JG2, I'm not saying that I want a team of Kevin Davies'. It's just that I'm surprised he's been 'overlooked' by footballing clubs, given he's a very effective target man, strong at headers and has a decent shot as well - reminds me a bit of Elbows Shearer in some ways. A yin which allows the flair players (yang) to shine a bit brighter, as with Wilson?
Never mind this, we've got more than enough in our locker with the four strikers we do have. And as much as I was annoyed we opted for cr'Ouch in the summer window, I'm actually starting to warm to the tall chap. Guiding a few more headers in wouldn't go amiss, but nonetheless we've got more than enough options up there. It's at the other end that I'm worried about.
Gary Cahill for £20m??? We'll see later on today whether he's worth it.
Reply to jimbo:
Well, due to an overly long period of winning F-all, we are blissfully bereft of both glory-hunters and fans pumped up on their own self importance, so we're generally a decent lot.
Generally.
May the best team win today - but we're due a win at your ground! That's a horrendous record.
I make you right though - a
Ooops - hit enter!
I make you right though, Jimbo. At least two goals each sounds entirely feasible.
We'll always concede, but we will score.
It'll be an interesting old game, and a decent baromter of just how far Spurs have progressed, given the historical shitness of the result up there against your lot for us!
Reply to jimbo:
I think the word 'attempts' should've been CAPs locked, my good sir.
I do tend to waffle.
All the best today.
anyone got a working stream?COYS!
Reply to the_ginger_pele:
I think this might work.
LINK
Swing and a miss.
ginger_pele, you old dog, have you got Myp2p downloaded on your machine? it's pretty damn handy for finding the best streams aroond.
Bang.
Reply to onedavemackay:
Homer: Damage report, Mr. Moe.
Moe: Sonar, out. Navigation, out. Radio, out.
Homer: Enough of what's out, what's in?
Moe: Ice-blended mocha drinks and David Schwimmer.
Homer: Yes, he is handsome in an ugly sort of way.
Well i was right.
2-2
What did suprise me was Bolton playing abit of decent passing football. Especially in the first half. Total Football!
Dissapointed we let the lead slip twice but we just didn't deal with Crouch all day. We never do.
Best of luck for the season.
Reply to Jimbo:
You seem a pleasant enough sort, so I won't vent my frustration at you. At times, I was wondering if it was Spurs playing in white. Unfortunately, we just didn;t grab this fixture by the scruff ofthe neck and some of our defending was a little too lackadaisical. There are times when you should pass your way out of a tricky spot, and times when you should just lace the ball into row Z. Bolton defended a bit better than we did.
As for cr'Ouch. That's 2 games in a row now that he's been unlucky not to score. I do hope that this improves.
Reply to WhoFramedRuelFox:
WFRF WTF???
Is Kevin Davies the new David Schwimmer then? Or does his effectiveness rate more as the new Jen Aniston?
Reply to Trembly:
I thought it was you who had the crush on Kevin Davies?
I am looking for a new Mrs. Fox, actually. Jen Aniston in here prime would've done nicely.
Ah, who I'm kidding. I'd give give my two ankles for her at sixty.
Reply to Jimbo:
And to you, Jimbo.
And to you.
*her*
Well, that was never going to be easy or pretty, so I guess I can't bitch too much about a point.
We really need to get the back 5 sorted and means Gomes between the sticks. We have a legend in the making there and I'm concerened that 'Arry can't see it.
Now if I can only get 'Arry on the phone.....
I thought Bolton played brilliantly - and we barely showed up in the first half.
Still can't feel too happy about the result, though - we seem to have a few players in a slump at the moment.
SSG: Totally agree that we need Gomes back, Cudi, as great as he was once, is a certified #2 and no more. Gomes, while prone to the occaisional blunder, is quality. I share your concern about Harry not being able to see it.
Good luck for the season, Jimbo! Don't be shy abouty coming backl here neither, it's always nice to have another teams perspective - especially when it isn't just "u Spudz all suck"!
Bloody hell - my typing's gone to pot lately.
I'm a PA/Receptionist as well, which is quite worrying!
Reply to KayBee:
Don't worry, Kaybee.
My typing hit the pot years ago. In fact, get those smart city slickers on the farms and call me Pol.
Reply to SeattleSpursGuy:
I'm equally bemused as to why Gomes isn't straight back between the posts. It's clear the man thrives on the confidence of those around him and how it's projecting ontward him. He needs Harry's backing. Sticking him on the bench, letting the doubt seep back in, won't do him, or indeed, us any favours.
Get him on the phone, SSG. Pronto.
Ta Foxyness
So, a lil' break from important footie now as the international crap looms. (BOOOO!)
Still, by the end of it we'll be two weeks closer to getting our Croat dynamo back. (YAAAAY!)
Oh, and David Haye fights that Russian giant next month, doesn't he? I'll be watching that. Oh yes.
And so ends KB's Useless Sport Round-Up.
(PS - Cricket is still s***)
Reply to KayBee:
I don't like the IB messing with Spurs, but the US has some important games coming up--one against Sargento Wilson and his Honduran squad. It would be nice for the US to play like they're capable again.
You know, SSG... I might even watch that!
It's quite odd that I get a lot more enjoyment out of internationals when England aren't playing.