Sunderland Home: The Curious Case of Benjamin Bent
Friday, 06 November 09, 09:07 AM · Comments(19)
Welcome to the jungle.
All eyes on Sharon Bent this weekend. After cutting the bouncy shinned striker loose in the Summer- not in altogether harmonious circumstances- Benty will no doubt be looking to prove a point. Whether it be cannoning one of his knee, face, balloon or all of the above, the Spurs defence will need to keep close tabs on a man positively seething with indignant wrath. ‘Look at me now, Harry. Look. At. Me. Now.’
As he takes one in the mug.
In all seriousness, there’s no denying the man is a threat. For all his doubters at Tottenham, it can’t be said he didn’t know his way around the penalty area; in amongst all the booing, Twitter updates, and name-calling, Bent was our top scorer last season and easily Sunderland’s this. The fact that we warmed to him like a hobo squatting in our basement, probably, from the outside, appeared a touch heartless. ‘I mean, if that’s how they treat their top scorers…’ The problem was, I guess, that he never quite won us over. For every brace against Bolton, there was a glaring miss against Portsmouth; spoons and fumbles that only helped build a reputation that we, as fans, weren’t keen on embracing. That Bent was a bit of clown. Prolific in a team that’s singular purpose is to create chances for him, too inconsistent in one that has better things to do with its afternoon.
Of course, Darren Bent probably will score tomorrow and he’ll get his chance to fist pump the air in front of Harry. Maybe even go as far as removing his shirt in wild abandon, squat thrusting on the touchline until the stewards ask him to leave. But he’ll tell them they can’t stop him because he’s a ‘goal machine’ and this is what goal machines are programmed to do. Then come the tranquiliser darts… In a strange way, I hope he gets his chance against us, if only for the simple reason that he seems like a nice enough chap who deserves a bit of closure on what was obviously a difficult crossroad in his career.
Hopefully by the time he does score, Jermain Defoe’s hat-trick will have already buried the game out recognition and the aforementioned celebrations will seem a bit silly.
Fitting, I suppose.
Forecasts then; a thumping good 3-1 win against a decent Sunderland side as absentee plagued as ourselves. Bent and Defoe to be amongst the goals, with the former’s taking a neat deflection off a low flying pigeon.
Ceermonyoooouspppuuuurs.
Like this blog? Help spread the word: 
-
WhoFramedRuelFox
GB
A hearty expedition into the mind of a troubled, easily swayed Tottenham fan.
19 Comments · Add yours
I don't feel for Bent, he had his chance to prove how good a goal machine he believes he is.
At the start of last season he was own #1 striker and we all know how that turned out don't we.
FYI is was gunning for him at the time, boasting how he would replace our want away front line.
He did give my son his signature two seasons ago though, good job I was there though to move the program in his direction, the f^cker nearly missed it by 5 inch......
A 2-1 win that will be frustrating because we will spurn another good sized hat full of chances. PSB with at least 3 of those. Good thing he'll leave on the hour.
JD to score and Woody off a set piece.
Bent to shin one and Twitter his joy right on the pitch.
FYI, on my Facebook page there appears the following message:
Who Framed Ruel Fox
Poke Him!
I respectfully decline.
Reply to SeattleSpursGuy:
Much obliged.
Reply to WhoFramedRuelFox:
A pleasure, believe me
Shannon Bent LOL
2-1 Spurs and I totally agree that Bent will score. Defoe to grab the two.
COYS!!!!!!
Lovely stuff senor, sends me to the Lane with a smile on my face. Here's hoping the smile is still being smiled on the way back...
This is the first time I've agreed with a Lawro predo for us this season. If they were at full strength, I would've feared a draw. As it is though, I think a 3-1 home win sounds just about right.
Dawson, Defoe, and...David Bentley! to score.
Gomes: insane and brilliant in equal measures.
'Arry has got to stop trying to make all the strikers happy:
"Let's see, Kean-o is undroppable...bloody contract... and Don Fabio is watching so I've got to get Big Pete in, hmmmm... and JD is hungry after the ban....Pav? big girl's shirt with mental problems; I won't have him....Fook me, I guess Kean-o goes on the left. I'm glad I held out for guaranteeing him only an hour per match."
Reply to AllActionNoPlot:
Thanks, AANP.
And this one's for you LINK
That penalty Barren Dent won and scored was awesome, he deserved to get on the scoresheet.
It's not that he wasn't suitably appreciated at Spurs - he was, at least to the extent he should've been given his endeavours. He was not a star for us. He never arrived for a bargain, nor did he leave for a wad of profit. He never seemed to have any rapport or any psychic link with any other Spurs player. And his attitude, whilst professional, obviously didn't warm to any of 3 managers - meaning he must really be as much of a twat as his twitter rants paint him.
He cheated. He didn't score. And I don't wish him well in any team that look to usurp our challenge. However, by all means score against the sky 4, sh*tteh, villa and those getting too close for comfort.
Reply to Trembly:
I gave the man far too much credit.
I used to think he was a humble sort; misunderstood, hard-working, perhaps even midly underrated.
Now I just think he's a tool belt.
Reply to WhoFramedRuelFox:
^^ This.
Reply to KayBee:
And where the f*ck have you been?
I was so f***ed off at the no-show @ the Hemerroids that I couldn't bare to log onto any footie sites.
Besides, nobody would've wanted my "Redknapp is a cock and all* our players are fannies" rhetoric.
* of course, King, Lennon, Modric and Gomes are in no way badmouthed by me, ever, as is my want, so they are excused.
Reply to KayBee:
I feel your pain, sister.
I'm still reeling from the aftershocks of that debacle.
A bit happier after the weekend, though?
Spurs getting three points and jumping back into the top four, Gomes (my god, I love that mad bastard) serving up a BIG dollop of hot, buttery football justice by saving that penalty that never should've been... and a new Brit Heavyweight World Champion (good lookin', David!) - what's not to love about THIS weekend?
The one before it SUCKED, though.
I had a feeling we were gonna get spanked, so I took my mum out shopping rather than watch it - it's the first time ever in my life I've intentionally missed a game I could have watched or gone to.
We better do them back at the Lane, that's all I'm saying.
Missed you lot, though!